Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The It's All About Me Question

Dear Author Margo,
I recently signed my first publishing contract and sent out the obligatory “I have great news” email. A fellow writer replied with news of the even greater crap that’s happening in his writing career making my one book deal look rather puny in comparison. Worse, he made sure to reply to ALL not just me. Why do people do stuff like that?

Dear Chortled Too Soon,
By people do you mean you or other people just like you? Be honest, you put this fellow writer’s name first in the To: line and then went back and added a few other names before it so you wouldn’t look so desperate to impress the very person you claim stole your thunder…which he totally did. The only way you’ll be able to shut this guy down is by seducing his wife and writing a runaway bestseller about how he beat you up, broke your fingers, kicked your dog and you still managed to write a bestseller despite broken fingers, an incontinent dog and a knocked up girlfriend who is still married to him at the time of publication.

If it’s the route you choose to take, best of luck on the paternity test whichever way you want it to go. If not, just chalk it up to you having good news and him having way better news and being too lazy to send out his own email to share it. Oh, wait he did. Remember that message of his you deleted without even opening? If you would have read it, you wouldn’t have included him on a mass email. Your good news would have reached him as nature intended—as a forward from someone else. That’s how the cool writers do it.

Best,
Author Margo

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